The Siddha of the Underworld
author Elayne LeMonde
The Dark Goddess
In the darkest night of my Soul, my body was wracked with fierce pain. Bedridden from gangrene in my teeth and skull from root canals that I had received years ago; the result of a tragic blow to my head. I was suffering from intense trauma that climaxed and emerged from my death on the surgery table. My Soul returned to Source to remember the truest witness of Love and through this transition; I remembered my Soul purpose in this life is to heal the memories that haunted my childhood and create harmony in my life. Years of therapy to unravel my life-long journey had barely touched the tip of the iceberg of my violent past that had been buried in order to survive. Now it was all coming to the surface like an infested sliver smothered in puss, and the only way to be free of the pain was to allow it to emerge. I awoke to a tumultuous journey to heal a severely abusive past.
After my first experience with the magic mushrooms with my adult children, I awakened a vast amount of inner peace and creativity that I hadn't previously known. Shortly thereafter, a Shaman I had met on social media stopped at my door while traveling through town. He told me then that if I wrote my book I would free. Thus, I sought out a Shaman in Boise to hold space for me to do some very intense work. It was time for me to see through the illusions of my thoughts and beliefs, and to lovingly nurture mySelf in order to rewrite my stories of my childhood and discover the karmic connections that created this reality.
The Dark Magician was highly recommended by trusted friends to take me on these journeys. My immediate response when I met him was that there was no chemistry or attraction to him on my part, so I didn’t need to worry about lines being crossed with this man. I did also realize that he had a deep desire for me but somehow I rationalized the knowing and decided to trust the process. It was important for me to do healing with a man because I needed to heal my intense struggle of abuse and domination, and also address my perpetual pattern of attracting men that disrespected me.
He gave me a cookie laced with LSD, and in the privacy of his home I began to trip. Within minutes of when the medicine kicked in, the man who calls himSelf Mana suggested I take off my clothes in order to be more comfortable. While on the medicine, this felt so freeing and I stripped down and laid naked on his couch.
I began to sob, memories flashing from the past were rapidly moving through me. I was remembering and restoring intense darkness within mySelf. Aroused from my deep descent within, Mana was rubbing my naked body, assisting me to let go of the dense frequencies of my cellular memory. He slowly made his way down to my Yoni, telling me it was safe to release the pain I was holding here. His fingers slid inside me as he asked me if I knew how to ejaculate to release. I was deeply confused why he was touching me yet under the medicine, I knew I needed this profound healing. I felt awkward about his advances and I was also aware of the importance of the work to release my deeply invaded feminine parts, so we continued. I moved through so much trauma and sorrow that had been trapped within my tortured vagina and womb. I surrendered to the process and simply received the healing energy of the release.
Following my liberation, the music playing in the background beckoned me to move my body, dancing in the celebration of my newly awakened and embodiment state of Being. I frolicked in the beauty of the Divine Goddess emerging from me. Deeply lost within mySelf and the Sacred witness of my beauty, I heard Mana say “Oh my God, you are too sexy, I can’t stand it.” Mana completely naked, then penetrated me from behind.
He began to make love to me and I was so confused. He rolled me over and he was on top of me and in my state of delusion, my inner voice kept screaming until I boisterously bellowed out loud, “Why are we having sex?” Quickly he jumped off of me and he put back on his clothes.
I began to deeply weep, the pain of being raped repeatedly throughout my life came oozing out of my Soul. Wracked with memories of my body never being mine, I sobbed in recognition that I used my voice for the first time in my life to claim the stewardship for my Soul’s temple. My pattern of surrender to the intrusive man had seemed like the easier option than the physical beating I would receive if I didn’t cooperate.
Rape is more than a physical experience. All of the energy bodies and fields are wide open and impressionable, especially under medicine; which makes the rape even more amplified because every aspect of our holographic field receives the intrusive penetration. We also create aquifers, which are energy ties of connection with those we have sexual exchanges with which keeps us corded to each other. Our sexual energy is designed for us to unite, become close, and merge as One with the person we are engaging with. This is our Divine design, to become one flesh and entwine our energies on such a deep level that we are merging and creating with Pure Source through our love in our communion.
“What would you tell your daughter to do when someone violates her body”? I screamed at Mana. “Why does every man desire to fuck me but nobody is willing to love me?” I wailed in overwhelming lamentation of the plight of my life.
“I had to use my penis to clear your energy” Mana replied. My truest gift has always been to know truth through vibrational frequency, and his response was a blatant lie. Thrashing in the depths of despair and shock that came to an intensity, I became lost in the grieving of my inability to have boundaries and to protect my body. Through my requiem, years of sorrow wracked my Soul until the awareness arose to my responsibility to merge with my frozen-in-time inner child, the tender little one that never had a choice about what my body experienced. I released the dam and allowed the flow of my emotions to engulf me. In fetal position, my body shook out of control. I puked the toxic lust and invasive penetration I have endured throughout my life. My body’s intrusions burned through me like molten lava purifying throughout my veins.
Mana called my name, which triggered my attention. “I have been awaiting your arrival, I knew you would be here. You are the love I have been waiting for. I am sorry I was too anxious to commune with you. I couldn’t wait for you to recognize me .Please sit up and gaze into my eyes.” He pulled me close, my legs wrapped around his waist, and we looked into each other’s Soul, and in that moment I knew my life would never be the same.
Copyright 2019 ©Elayne LeMonde
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Elayne Le Monde, Emissary for the Sacred Divine Feminine Council and Goddess Mystery School, and Keeper of the Flame of DIvine Union is a Quantum Intuitive using Shamanic principles awakened through her transformation from a severely physical, emotional, and incestuos childhood fostered through a Patriarchal religious cult and society. Elayne’s lifetime of deep healing from these intense wounds has served as a beautiful model for others.
Awakened through the Soul presence and pure love during the stillbirth of her son, her 4th pregnancy (out of 7) at the age of 24, Elayne’s healing journey led her to discover an expansive education and practice as a Neuro Energetic Kinesiologist, Holographic Healing, and L.E.A.P. Brain Integration practitioner; as well as many other modalities of alternative healing. A significant part of her process led her to deep work within her sexual organs an eventually Elayne fully awakened her Kundilini and the magic of her life's journey. http://elaynelemonde.com/therapy
Elayne’s gifts have assisted multitudes of women and men to heal severe core issues and create alchemy through awakening the Sacred Sovereign Sexuality of the Divine Goddess.